Last Updated on February 13, 2024
Putting ourselves out there and taking a risk on love can be tough but also incredibly gratifying. Are you familiar with the phrase, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained”?
We know we have to take a chance on love if we are going to find that special someone and have a wonderful, fulfilling relationship, yet the possibility of things going south can be enough to discourage some folks from taking the leap.
Speak to most people and they will tell you that it is worth it. Taking a chance on love can result in a life with greater meaning and purpose.
When we find a special someone, we are encouraged to open our heart to that person and forge a relationship based on mutual love and respect.
Children may be part of your journey together and that brings a whole other aspect of fulfillment and gratification.
As a couple, you rear your kids to be part of the union that the two of you share and your life becomes rich beyond measure.
Indeed, the dividends of a love reciprocated are countless. Yet, it can be a challenging, frustrating, and even emotionally harmful process to engage in dating.
All the promises of a fulfilled couple existence go out the window when a relationship goes sour.
I can speak with some experience on this.
My Story
As a young adult, I knew the future I wanted was to have that special relationship with someone, have a large family, and stay home to rear my children.
As often happens, life didn’t turn out the way I had hoped.
I have known my share of heartache. In high school, I went on casual dates a few times, but in my small, rural community there were not a lot of guys to choose from.
After high school, I attended university. During those five years, I had some relationships, but again, nothing lasting. There would always be something that didn’t click.
There was an exception to this. One relationship, in particular, held promise. We got along so well, but our paths were taking us in different directions and we eventually ended the relationship.
My plans to travel to Europe led to my meeting the man who would become my husband.
We were married for twenty years and during those years we had five children.
I loved my role as a mother but my marriage was on shaky ground from the get-go. I stuck it out for twenty years because I thought it was best for my children.
In the end, I felt the negative environment was doing more harm than good to my kids.
My husband and I eventually separated and then divorced.
It wasn’t what I had envisioned. The marriage part of my dream was torn to shreds.
I was forty-six when my marriage broke down. I felt I was definitely not too old to start again, and maybe I could enter into a new, positive relationship.
Sadly, this did not happen. I dated only two men, and neither relationship worked out.
I felt defeated. I had five wonderful children but my life lacked a solid, romantic relationship with someone I could share the future with.
I was not where I thought I would be with my life.
Fast forward to today and I am still single. At this point I have been on my own for sixteen years and am hesitant to enter into a relationship with someone.
I tell myself that staying single is the safe path to take – once bitten, twice shy – and why risk another bad relationship?
At this stage of my life do I want to take a chance on love?
I have shared my personal story with you to let you know that just because I am writing this article, doesn’t mean that I am an expert on relationships.
However, I have gathered insights and strategies to help you stop loving someone and move on from past relationships, drawing from both personal experiences and professional advice.
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Is The Relationship Positive?
They’re tough and it’s hard to put yourself out there, especially when you have gone through negative stuff in the past.
When a relationship ends, we have to find a way to go on, to move forward in a positive, healthy way.
There are things we can do to help us achieve this.
In this article, I look at thirty-four ways to let go of a negative relationship and move forward with your life.
When we are in the midst of a relationship it can be incredibly difficult to be objective and look at the relationship for what it truly is.
Be honest with yourself. Is the relationship bringing out the best in you or do you feel criticized and belittled?
If you feel frustrated and angry, sad and upset more often than happy, positive and strengthened by your partner, it’s time to take a good look at the relationship.
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Are You On The Same Page?
Sometimes, we find ourselves in a relationship that we are committed to and feel is healthy and good, but our partner doesn’t feel that way.
Maybe your significant other has different priorities, or maybe they have fallen for someone else and want to end the relationship with you.
This is an incredibly devastating situation to be in. The feeling of rejection is one of the hardest to move on from.
Our self-esteem has taken a blow and we somehow have to get to a place where we feel good about ourselves again.
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Practical Ideas To Help You Move On
Contained in the list that follows are wonderful, practical, and sensitive suggestions for how to stop loving someone and move on with your life.
It may be that you need to simply give yourself some time to get over the person.
It isn’t fun, but know that it is temporary, and with each passing day, the horrible ache you feel lessens.
One day you will turn a corner and start looking ahead instead of behind.
A break-up is a good time for self-care. What are your favorite ways to look at yourself?
Is soaking in a bubble bath complete with candles and your favorite music a good way for you to pamper yourself?
Maybe a day at the spa with your bestie is a good option.
Spending some time with close friends can offer you the chance to talk about the relationship, plus it can be an opportunity to go out and have some fun!
Look at the following list and choose things that speak to you, then let them lead you to a better outlook and improved overall health.
Hang in there and indulge in some self-care and self-love. You’ll find your way forward, I promise you.
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34 Ways To Stop Loving Someone And Move On
1. “Focus on what you can control – yourself.”
2. “Give yourself time to heal”
3. “Examine how the relationship wasn’t working in order to learn from it.”
4. “If you can’t forgive the person yet, at least forgive yourself.”
5. “Seek Professional Help”
6. “Find out limiting beliefs”
7. “Prioritize Self-Care”
8. “Embrace the attitude of gratitude”
9. “Stop the blaming game”
10. “Take care of Yourself”
11. “Start separating your emotional energy from theirs.”
12. “Stay away from Social Media”
13. “Rebound with Caution”
14. “Decide Whether the Relationship Is Worth It”
15. “Realize that you can’t do anything about it anymore.”
16. “Trust the Process”
17. “Get plenty of support.”
18. “Visualize their energy away from you and wish them well.”
19. “Lean on Friends and Family”
20. “Practice empathy”
21. “Increase self-care and lower expectations to keep centered.”
22. “Talk to people you trust”
23. “Accept That You’re Only in Control of Your Own Actions”
24. “Cut Off Contact”
25. “Be gentle with yourself, healing is a process not a destination.”
26. “Keep yourself busy”
27. “Reframe Your Definition of Forgiveness”
28. “Understand the right time to leave”
29. “Use writing to tell the story and put things in perspective.”
30. “Master your emotions”
31. “Let yourself feel the grief associated with letting go.”
32. “Don’t assume their thoughts since you don’t know anyway.”
33. “Have a Conversation”
34. “Change your story”
Frequently Asked Questions
How Do I Know If It’s Time To Stop Loving Someone And Move On?
Recognizing when it’s time to stop loving someone and move on can be challenging. Signs include feeling consistently unhappy, unsupported, or unfulfilled in the relationship. This guide offers insights to help you assess your situation and make informed decisions.
How Do I Know If I’ve Truly Moved On From Someone?
You may know you’ve truly moved on from someone when you no longer feel consumed by thoughts of them, when you can reflect on the relationship without intense emotions, and when you feel ready to open yourself up to new connections and experiences.
Is It Possible To Remain Friends With Someone After Moving On From A Romantic Relationship?
Remaining friends with someone after moving on from a romantic relationship is possible but may require time and space for both parties to heal and establish new boundaries. Communication, mutual respect, and honesty are key in navigating this transition.
Is Professional Help Advisable?
Therapy can be incredibly beneficial, especially if you’re struggling to cope or feel overwhelmed. Don’t hesitate to seek support if needed.
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